Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A long day

Xavier is still sick...this is now the eighth day.  Going to docs tomorrow.  He is currently lying on the couch watching The Wiggles again, at least it is not Toy Story 2 (we watched that four times yesterday and twice today).  It is beginning to show in my conversations with Cam when I start reciting lines from TS2 or even start singing lines from The Wiggles Go Bananas.  Need some adult conversation desperately.

So since he has been sick I haven't done much scrapbooking - much to my dismay.  Nor have I been doing housework or Tafe assignments.  Cameron must be disgusted with me when he comes home but thankfully he doesnt say anything.

Doesn't help that I have woken up feeling crap today.  Maybe now I am getting what Xave has.  Vicious cycle.

Yesterday spent about three hours uploading photos to BIG W online to print off (at ten cents per photos how can I not do this), but to my disappointment an error happened and all that time was wasted so no photos for us until the next time.

I took this photo of Zoe yesterday though, she is such a cutie pie. I just want to bite her haha.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Sleeping...

Here is my two kids fast asleep when we went to pick up daddy from work the other week.  At the moment I wish they were both fast asleep...it has been a trying day for me and I am exhausted.  All I want to do is lay my head down :(



Monday, August 30, 2010

Too many things

Where has the time gone? I have so many things on my list to do, and I just can't seem to accomplish any of them.  I thought once I started this blog I would write every single day, and so far I think I have managed to write four things? 

At the moment Xave is sleeping (yay), and Zoe is on the loungefloor playing with her toys.  I just can't seem to manage getting the two of them to sleep at the same time.  Last night for the first time Xave woke up and called out 'Daddy, daddy.' It was so adorable, but of course Cam didn't go to him, he was in the middle of something so I had to jump out of the nice warm bed and go tend to him - quick cuddle and song and he was fast asleep again but then Zoe decided to wake up.  We are trying to get her to sleep in her cot, but she wakes every half hour on the hour, so it is just easier to keep her in my bed...love it but dont.

Been doing some craft (scrapbooking), but don't seem to have the skills and creativity that other people do. Depresses me.

Gotta run, Zoe crying (again).
x

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wednesday...

Today I have accomplished something...I have started cleaning out the back room...funny how motivation always kicks in at the most awkward time...right when I have to start thinking about dinner etc.

It is 4.24pm, the kids are in the loungeroom - and I am on the computer again.  Why do I always find myself drawn to this stupid thing. 

Went away for the weekend all intending to chill out, relax, spend some time watching movies and scrapbooking but did nothing! haha.  We managed to watch two movies over four days because the kids were just seeking our attention.  It was fun though.

Must go, washing to fold, dishes to do, and dinner to cook.  Will write some more tonight...I hope.
xx

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A new day but the same old crap

Today I officially cried.  Yep tears of salty water ran down my face, and I was happy.  Over the past few weeks, I have been so emotionally stunted I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with me - sure I was able to shed a few tears over a puppy stuck down a drain, or anything that happened on packed to the rafters but in real life, I wasn't able to produce anything.  It was pissing me off.  But today, everything came on top of me, and at my son's playgroup I thrust my daughter into my friend Paula's arms and hightailed it to the loos and had a good sob. 

And then a small chuckle.

And then a smile.

I felt fantastic.  I had released tears, and some emotions, I felt like I could take on the world...well not really but it would have been nice!

So, new day and same old crap but with a tiny bit better outlook on life knowing I am not emotionally stunted that I do know how to cry.

Now back to the housework, last night's dishes, and tonight's dinner...joy.

x

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bad mum?

I just did a good deed for my husband, I went and picked him up from work - to save him travelling the hour long trip from work to home (ulterior motive - I want him to cook dinner tonight)...but I did a bad thing...as we were coming inside the house I accidently banged Xave's head on the door frame.  He cried, and I said sorry so many times I think that I will have to take shares out in this word.  I gave him a bottle of milk, laid him on the couch and put the simpsons movie on.

I felt so awful, that I was the reason he was crying.  It was an accident, but it made me realise just how much his pain is my pain.  I felt my heart breaking.

He is in bed now, with miss (his dummy), a bottle of warm water, and his little glo worm.  And he calls out to me for a song, so I creep in there, sing hush and sing twinkle little star but that still doesn't calm him down enough to sleep.  I just have to keep singing to him in my husky (sore throat), out of tune voice and hope that when he is older he won't have nightmares of this scary voice singing him what are meant to be lullabies, that always end up with me yawning half way through, and aching to lay my head down.

x

Again...

It's only been a few minutes since my last post, but I feel a compulsion starting.  I sit here writing this while my son is hell bent on destroying the studying, and my little girl is babbling in her high chair, the dishes are piled up from last night's dinner (anniversary, six years = left overs.  I am a great wife...) and all I can think about is writing.  I want to write my novel, I want to write my assignments, I want to write on FB.

It is so cold, that I will go close up the house, shut the windows close the blinds and draw myself into my little cocoon, and start to wonder how my life ended up like this.  I'm not sad nor am I depressed, I am just a little bit blue.  Surely, the warmer weather will come and my blueness will beat a hasty retreat.

dishes are calling...

what a treat

Well after many moons and lots of apprehension I have decided to finally blog.  The book I am reading now is based on a character who blogs most of the day, and I thought well why not?  I have been wanting to do this for a while, and visions of myself sitting here having many readers like Julie from the movie Julie and Julia comes to mind - that would never happen!  huh.

The kids are in the lounge watching Toy Story 2 again and I am wasting time until I can go out to K's house for a cookware party.  And adult company.

Love my kids but always need adult company...

Until next time - welcome to my world
Katrina