Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bad mum?

I just did a good deed for my husband, I went and picked him up from work - to save him travelling the hour long trip from work to home (ulterior motive - I want him to cook dinner tonight)...but I did a bad thing...as we were coming inside the house I accidently banged Xave's head on the door frame.  He cried, and I said sorry so many times I think that I will have to take shares out in this word.  I gave him a bottle of milk, laid him on the couch and put the simpsons movie on.

I felt so awful, that I was the reason he was crying.  It was an accident, but it made me realise just how much his pain is my pain.  I felt my heart breaking.

He is in bed now, with miss (his dummy), a bottle of warm water, and his little glo worm.  And he calls out to me for a song, so I creep in there, sing hush and sing twinkle little star but that still doesn't calm him down enough to sleep.  I just have to keep singing to him in my husky (sore throat), out of tune voice and hope that when he is older he won't have nightmares of this scary voice singing him what are meant to be lullabies, that always end up with me yawning half way through, and aching to lay my head down.

x

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